In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently. If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. Situations can deteriorate more if each partner's ways of dealing with conflicts cause them to make things worse. Married couples turn to marriage counselors and those who aren't married seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help the partners discover somethings things you can do that may help each understand how the other party thinks.
A study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health showed that most couples between the ages of 18 and 21,who had been together for only a couple of avoided intimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those studied all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels of anxiety, while some others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thoughts about abandonment, reacted differently as well.
What was interesting in the study was how different the results were in both men and women. These study subjects showed that in terms of their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while in woman only those who are the more "avoidant" types showed any real changes.
Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.
Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren't anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.
When you seek out relationship advice, whether from a family therapist or psychologist, they will to try to help you understand the different ways men and women react to a relationship conflict. The above research on studying the effects of relationship conflict in men and women will help you know why they react the way they do in a relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.


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